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There sure are a lot of biologists on your online dating site. You’ll be playing this whether you like it or not a lot more often now. You may be seen as forward, or at least not shy enough. Let’s assume you know two things: that you are a woman, and that you like other women. Follow along, and we will get you from this humble beginning, to being a real-live dater. For example, if you expect to dance alone at a bar, you will be thrilled to find that someone beautiful is dancing with you.
This isn’t in reference to any particular difficulty facing trans women, though there are many; it is always helpful to lower your expectations. Ok Cupid, Match, or Tinder; it doesn’t really matter where, but you’ll need one. Brook is a queer trans woman living in Portland who hangs out with her cat, and does all manner of technical magic for a software company. Part of me is tempted to say this is universal—that everyone kind of hates it. Of course, I didn’t self-identify as a woman inside—so that part wasn’t easy. Where complete strangers ask you about your genitals? Use some of your flirting skills from being at the bar while you are online. A lot of people online are too shy to go out, so they will not know how to respond to you. Get better at reading through their answers to weed out the ubiquitous racism, transmisogyny, littering, and incompatible goals.
You will be elated in your heart that someone cares about you, and wants to kiss you… Gird your loins against the barbs flung at you and your partner. Embrace being a really hot lesbian with a super amazing girlfriend. Try to not be burned by them with every single uneducated, casual insult.